Trailer 34 news agency confirmed reports today that dispel rumors about the vanishing act of former Trailer Park, Mayor Andrew Milford. For months, the rumors have ranged from the tragic: that he took his own life because of a failed end of the season party, or that he was assassinated in an attempted coup by former Vice Mayor Claudine Weinfeld. Neither rumor is true, however. This morning at 9:01am a telegram surfaced, detailing the mysterious incidents surrounding his departure. Details of the telegram are below:
Chuck wants bowling trophy. STOP
He will stop at nothing. STOP
I’m stowed away in an island without my passport. STOP
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