Vol 11 #5. The Men of Maintenance Expose Their Tools For New Omega Calendar

Trailer 34 news agency reported today that Omega Institute’s Maintenance Department is rebranding their image by creating the first annual Men of Maintenance Calendar. “People want to see us in action,” said Maintenance spokesperson Adam Hall. “This goes beyond Danny’s barbecue, and far beyond any hidden trophies under Chuck’s desk. This is the real work, a photographic essay of who we are and what we mean to Omega.”

The original idea of a calendar came from seasonal staff member Maureen Drake. “I always wanted to work closely with these guys,” she said. “And this was my chance. Really, when it comes down to it, I think most of them are male models at heart, true naturals when it comes to letting the camera know their bodies.”

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Vol 11 #4 - Homer Simpson Files for Damages: Randal Roberts Miffed!

Trailer 34 news agency reported today that American legend Homer Simpson has filed for damages against Omega Dining Hall Manager Randal Roberts, stating that the enlightened cover art of Mr. Simpson on this months Chronogram is detrimental to Mr. Simpson’s livelihood. The charges go on to claim that Homer Simpson’s income depends on the general public viewing him as unintelligent, ignorant and selfish, all of which are qualities that Mr. Robert’s painting undermines. Mr. Simpson’s youthful attorney, Bart Simpson, issued the following statement on behalf of his father and client. “Yo’ dude! Give it up! The only good thing about my dad is his appetite. Painting him to look like a Saint is going to cost our whole family lots of dough!"

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